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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The time has come to say goodbye...

Hi y'all... As I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been as productive and designed much the last several weeks. If you keep up with the personal side of my blogging, you'll know I suffer from a crippling condition (I have the most extreme form of it from what my doctor has told me) called PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome. It's not all about having cysts, I wish that were the only problem. I have incredible pain, to the point that even prescribed pain meds don't control it and all I can do is curl up in bed and sob. I also deal with tremendous mood swings that are out of control. Should I even mention how bad my cycles are? Umm.. not!! As I said, I have the worst case of it my doctor has ever seen in his 20+ years of practice, and he's worked all over in large cities and small towns. After being his human guinea pig for nearly two years, the time has come for me to have surgery. I will be having a radical hysterectomy one week from today (barring the poison ivy I've just contracted a couple of days ago doesn't stop it). Radical means they are taking out everything of my strange and mean girlie parts. I'll be in the hospital for a few days, and hope that it won't require any blood work even though I've just come through the last couple of days of finishing a nearly three week cycle that has made me anemic. This surgery has been in the works of planning and scheduling for over a month now, and I'm ready for it to be finished and over with. I'm going to be stepping away from designing for a while while I get things in order during the next week and the weeks to come for recovery. I have been told to expect 6-8 weeks before being able to do anything, and have been put on notice by Hubby as of last night that I won't be doing anything that requires any physical activity for most of that time unless it's clear I have the energy and stamina to do it. Because of the major issues I had when I had William via emergency c-section almost 7 years ago, we're extra nervous and anxious about next Tuesday. We're concerned that there will be excessive bleeding since I nearly bled out on the table having William. We're concerned that I'm already in a weakened condition right now that it will be a longer, more slow recovery for me with the chance of infections. I'm worried about the need for transfusions, and am unable to bank any blood for myself since I don't have much at this point, and hope that if that does become necessary, Hubby can bank a couple pints for me if required. I ask for prayers from you for a successful surgery, for a surgery that won't have any complications, for little blood loss, for a quick and as pain-less recovery as possible with no infection, and that for once in my 36 years on this planet, I will finally start to feel normal again. I have spent so many years having to live life around this part of my body, it's incredible with how much I've missed, how much I've not been able to do, how un-normal I've been required to live compared to the general public at large. I pray that William won't freak when he sees me after surgery, though he knows there's something wrong with momma's inside under her tummy, and that they have to cut the bad parts out that are making her so sick, but that's all. I pray that Hubby and William won't kill each other while I'm in the hospital with all the head-butting they've done the last couple of weeks. I just pray that all will go as hoped for. Anyway, that's what's going on and why you'll see me suddenly disappear. I hope to be able to design a bit here and there once back at home and after I'm able to gain some strength back. Being this weak is just for the birds for sure!! But hopefully this will be the last time I will ever feel this way ever again. Wish me luck my blogger friends!! I'll miss ya bunches!!! Love and hugs.... Julie aka Whispy


Gothic Inspirations said...

Hey hun. You will be missed... please try to stay in touch when you feel up to it? And I so hope this surgery ends up being a good thing in the long run so you no longer have to deal with continuousontinous pain like you've gone through. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you my friend. Jessica

beulahmom said...

Good luck Julie. I wish only the best for you and your family.

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